Confessions of a Ginger

A day in the life of a ginger


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Why are people raving about red?

Earlier this week, as I was aimlessly scrolling through my newfeed, an article caught my eye – it was an announcement that 2016 would be the year to see the first Ginger Pride event in England (See here). This seemingly another attempt at equalling rights, as it came the day after gay marriage was cleared across all US states. Now don’t get me wrong, I am delighted that there is finally an emphasis on equality in all aspects of life… however the fascination with red head/ginger/auburn/strawberry (what ever you like to class your red hair as) simply baffles me… as a fellow ginger myself… I really don’t see why my hair colour gets so much attention!

Redhead-Events

What better time to write a post about being ginger than in a heatwave that has engulfed England, and is posing a problem for all red head albinos out there. Here is just a few reasons why I don’t get the hype! Because believe me, it’s not all that fun!

  1. Bullying – I might as well hit the main issue from the word go … high school is not an easy time for any teen, with hormones, emotions and friendship troubles running high it is simply a recipe for trouble! Now add being ginger into the mix and you’ve created the ultimate potion of trouble. I used to get called all sorts – my favourite being “get back in the biscuit tin where you belong” at least it was inventive and went against the grain! The conventional name calling just got boring! Also… something I’ve never understood with one popular insult is that carrot tops are green not orange… at least make your insults accurateHumour aside, my high school years were tough, as on top of the verbal bullying, bullies trying to cut my ponytail off was a weekly occurrence, so was coming home crying every night!
  2. Old Women – Definitely a more lighthearted subject, but all the same, it gets tedious. It doesn’t matter where I am, I can guarantee an old aged pensioner will approach me and tell me what beautiful colour hair I have, and proceed to touch my head. Although this is a beautiful sentiment, it also, more often than not, comes with a life story! (prepared to be late to wherever you were heading – as you are forced to take a trip down memory lane
  3. Hairdressers – The process of getting my haircut would be one hell of a lot quicker if the hairdressers didn’t try to  colour match my hair (which you can’t by the way!) so that they can see if they can make a dye for their clients wanting the ‘natural red look’. The verdict every time is that it isn’t even the conventional copper associated with ginger hair, is a mix between gold and strawberry blonde!
  4. Genetics – Have you ever seen an olive complexion on a red-head? No, no you haven’t …. We usually fall in the category of albino and have to head for the white porcelain foundation shade and the factor 50+ sun lotion …. and still burn. This makes surviving heat-waves like today without the lobster look is increasingly difficult.
  5. Crowd Spotting – Now, this can a rather useful quality for your friends, as it doesn’t matter how busy a crowd is, your friends will spot you, as if you are sending off a light signal! Prospects of becoming the next ‘Where’s Wally!?’ is a non starter!
  6. Stereotypes – Much against popular belief, I do have a soul and I don’t have a short temper! And no, I don’t come from Scotland.
  7. Crayola – Thanks to crayon companies, you will forever be portrayed as a flourescent orange blob on children’s’ drawings!
  8. The lack of eyebrows – If you want eyebrows then they are going to have to be drawn on, finding the right shade and amount is another issue… but inevitably makeup has to be your friends. Similarly with eyelashes, unless you want to wear copius amounts of mascara every day – tinting is the way forward.
  9. Freckles – The only way you are going to get anything that resembles a tan, is to play dot to dot with your freckles! and in my case, as I have grown up, my freckles on my face no longer come out, and sit below the skin, giving of a glowing shade of dirty!
  10. Pain Tolerance – People with red hair require more anaesthesia to numb pain, meaning they feel more pain in the first place! Although, this has since been my get out of jail free card for being a wimp.

So there is my list of reasons why I think being ginger is over rated. However, it isn’t all bleak and miserable! Thanks to the likes of Prince Harry and Ed Sheeran, we are becoming a fashionable breed! And a rare one at that!

I will however leave you with a musical genius, that hits the nail on the head with this topic.

* Disclaimer – Tim Minchin has a ‘unique’ approach, which some my find offensive*

If you need me, you will find me in a shady spot in a bath of after sun!

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A Ginger Abroad

I feel I need to apologise for my absence and things being very quiet here on the blogging front, but i do have an excuse… I’ve been on my hollybobs!

A week of sun, sea and sun intolerant skin!

Ginger skin

Now ‘Confessions of a Ginger’ wouldn’t be very confessional (I think I just made that one up) if it failed to mention the skin of a red head whilst abroad.

Now seems an apt time to take you on a whistle stop tour of the evolution of sun cream

  • Thick green wall paper paste
  • Thick white wall paper paste

The bane of my toddlerhood¬†was the thick gloop (love that word… GLOOP) that was plastered on me mid tantrum and tears. I HATED it, it didn’t rub in and made me look like offspring of an alien. I mean yeah I guess they changed it from green to white eventually, which was an improvement but it still didn’t change the fact that I had to be pinned down by my parents to get it anywhere near me.

  • White cream

Okay, even I have to admit that as I approached childhood it had got a lot better, it now rubbed in and resembled more of a cream than a paste. However the resentment grew as I watched my younger sister be sprayed in this fine mist which apparently was sun cream whilst I was still basted up like a chicken ready to be cooked!

  • White Spray cream

As my teens approached, finally factor 50 caught up and came in the form of that delightful fine mist I watched my sister apply year on year, however, little did I know that STILL resentment would bubble. Yes you guessed it, this time as I rubbed this white spray into my skin, my sister was rubbing an invisible spray into her skin, you couldn’t see or feel it! ¬†IT JUST WASN’T FAIR

  • Clear Spray Cream

So there we have it, finally as I reach my twenties, factor 50 have actually caught up, I can finally wear cream like every other sun lovin’ person on the planet – two decades on and I finally have no resentment!

As you have probably worked out by now, I was a bitter, sun intolerant young human, but who can blame me…….

I was also that kid that had to wear a tshirt in the pool and the sea. Okay, yes my parents only had my best interest at heart, because undoubtedly I would have been cooked if I hadn’t, but if you have ever had to swim with tshirt on.. (usually a 50 times too big dads shirt) you will know it is the heaviest thing ever, and makes you feel like a beached walrus.

This is not even mention the tan (or lack of). My only form of colour comes from the dot to dot of freckles that invade my face, arms and oddly just my knees! Mind you rumour has it, that each freckle is a sole that I have stolen, so who knows!

As I have aged my skin is not quite as intolerant as it used to be but still requires a retreat to a shady spot for a spot of shade bathing in the mid day sun! And besides, I’ve done my time and experienced enough burns to last a life time!

Redheadprobs

So there we have it, confessions of a hard day’s holiday in the life of a ginger! But who can let an unfortunate genetic combination ruin a good sunny break (and maybe a cocktail or 4)

What are your complexion curses?