Here’s a summary of my summer
I have actually survived the crazy parents that swarm in like a tornado!
School uniform shopping is no fun for anyone, least of all us employees!
Its’s been an exhausting adventure of high’s and low’s.. who am I kidding it’s retail and mostly lows! Here are just a few of my favourites
- Do you work here? No, I just like to wear this lemon shirt with the logo on for fun and serving you is just a hobby…
- You incompetent bitch! This is one of my favourites! This was customers response for me not having a book bag to give her, so offered to order it for her.. apparently this made me an incompetent bitch… well all I can say is atleast I have a full compliment of teeth, am familiar with what a shower is and know what a bra is used for!
- You have the same hair colour as me, does your mummy not let you dye it either!? Best quote of the summer by THE cutest 4 year old ever!
- Is this the que!? No, people just like to que out of the door for fun
- The 10% sale ended on the 12th July, is it still valid?. It is now the 12th August, no it is not valid, hence you telling me it ended a month ago
- My child dropped chocolate down his blazer on the first day, can I please exchange it for a new one? My jaw dropped at that one!
- I want my skirt now and I am not leaving it until I get it. This from a middle aged woman who’s order hadn’t come in yet, yes, she genuinely sat in the middle of the heaving shop refusing to move…
- So you don’t do in between sizes? No we do 3-4, 5-6, 7-8 etc Oh can I have a 4-5? NO WE DON’T DO INBETWEEN SIZES
- I want a pinafore for my son please. Madam, boy’s don’t wear pinafores that is part of the girl’s uniform? But he wants one? Yes, he may do but he is 4 years old and will forget about it by this afternoon! Don’t let you’re child be a walking target!
- And perhaps the funniest of all. A cross dresser walks in wanting a high school skirt (already dressed head to toe in the rest of the uniform) proceeds to try the skirt on, trips, pulls the changing room curtain down and is on the floor with a skirt half way down his legs, up in the air half way up the mirror… in a shop full of people, screaming that he thinks he has broke his leg… how I kept a face I will never ever know!
But I survived a second summer! I’m exhausted and never want to see another blazer or child in my life, but I am alive to tell the tale. I also think avoiding children for the rest of my life is going to be a slight issue, considering in a years time I will be embarking on a primary PGCE journey!
But for now bring on center parcs and bring on finals!
A retail employee survivor!