**disclosure, I’m not a violent or angry person (I promise!) but there are just times you need to vent, before you do something maybe not that sensible**
Many times it has been told to blog from the heart, so this is what I’m going to do, I’m just going to write and see where it ends up!
Never has this been more true of now… I don’t quite know how to express my anger that justifies how I feel. I used the word livid earlier, a harsh word I’ve always thought … But now seems an appropriate time to use it.
2 weeks ago, a boy… (For this purpose lets call him Fred) broke my best friends heart… Because … Well actually the reason has changed so many times in this fortnight I don’t even know the reason for breaking up with her anymore!
To watch someone you care so much about break in front of your eyes, and you be completely powerless, is perhaps one of the worst feelings I have ever had to endure. I felt like my world had fallen apart in the process too. I felt every single tear she cried … Each cutting deeper than the last.
Over the weeks, the reasoning and the treatment by Fred has become appalling. I have never witnessed something so cold and heartless in my life… Well I have… by my dad and let’s just say, nobody wants to be compared to him!
This bubbling anger towards him is getting worse by the day, how can someone hurt somebody they supposedly loved like this … And continue to stamp on anything that remains … How do you expect me to stand by and watch you inflict such pain!!? The answer is you can’t… you can’t expect me to do that! I resent you so much for putting myself and more importantly her into this hellish position – it shouldn’t have been you that hurt her beyond repair… IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN YOU
I am fiercely loyal, and nobody hurts somebody I adore that much without feeling so much as a consequence…. This is where my issue lies, my (super lovely) attempt at trying to reason with Fred has already be branded as ‘abuse’… The thing is it’s not even come close … nowhere near! But I know I will sincerely regret saying what I want to say to him … Hence this attempt at blogging.
Somebody who you loved deserves more than:
I don’t know
It’s not you … It’s me
I’m sorry (but refuse to rectify the situation)
They deserve at the very very least a sincere, polite and truthful explanation … Of one that can be digested… One that can act as a closure … But no she apparently wasn’t worth all that. ( I hope that this will be forever freds biggest regret, because he has lost and broken one of the most beautiful and caring people I have ever met. Who quite frankly deserves so much more than the rubbish that she has been served! )
He should have known … We come as a pair … Ones problem becomes the others, and that is how it is forever going to be (hint hint to any other future boyfriend! 😉)
I apologise for ranting, but it was something that I had to try and get off my chest, in a way that wasn’t going to be filled with regret (I’m sure even this will spark regret at somepoint!)
A forever loyal friend x