Cue very cheesy number courtesy of Queen!
It’s been one of those day’s today … in fact one of those months!
Everything I seem to do at the moment comes with a warning label Caution: Contains Pressure. If it’s not one thing it’s another. It has made me really realise that everybody is under immense amount of pressure in some way shape or form!
These past 4 weeks have been particularly stressful however, for many a reason! And sometimes I need to take a step back and remember that however important something is, it’s not worth breaking my back for!
- Thursday is results day; words cannot describe how much I am dreading it! The pressure that I put on myself far outweighs the pressure put on by anybody else; but it doesn’t make it any easier, I am so desperate to have done well! I was always that kid at school, that if it was graded on effort alone I would have aced everything that I did.. but unfortunately my grades never quite reflected my efforts… Don’t get me wrong, I have been proud of the grades that I have acheived but my god! did I work for them! They’re never quite as spectacular as the brain box sat beside me, or the happy go lucky, ‘I don’t need to revise to do well’ kinda kid, but I was okay with that, because I knew I had earned what I got. This is my 6th year of results,and it never gets easier … I can only imagine the ball of anxiety that will fester for my final results next year!!
- The inspiration for this post, was when I was on a bikini hunt; literally my worst nightmare. I haven’t got the most hideous figure in the world, but it is a huge insecurity of mine! Now I love food far too much to care enough to do something about my weight, but it did make me think of the pressure that women and young girls are under in relation to their body image. My sister, is a typical example influenced by size 2 models in magazines, and is forever complaining that she is fat (she is a size 6/8 may I add!) I find it so heartbreaking that someone as beautiful as her ( she DEFINITELY got the better pick of the gene pool!) can be so unhappy with the way she looks! something that the media is solely responsible for. What happened to the days where a size 14/16 was considered beautiful!? the icon that is Marilyn Monroe, sporting a beautiful curvaceous figure was the dream goal… And now anorexia and bulimia is more prominent than ever, because of the pressure that is put on body image (the psychology student is coming out now!) Why can’t we all embrace who we are and enjoy the prospect of shopping for bikinis and slim fitting clothes!?
- As a student, it comes as no shock, that I am forever under financial pressure, now I’m a pretty savvy saver, but a few more pennies thrown my way wouldn’t hurt. This made the short list after my rent got taken out twice this month – it is safe to say that I nearly had a heart attack when I harmlessly checked my bank balance today! It was a mistake, but still didn’t take away the harsh reality that is my ever increasing debt and need to work for money to pay rent for over the summer. Let’s just say my dad won’t be winning Dad of the year, and for reasons I won’t go in to, financial worries is always a big one, and I fear will be for the foreseeable!
- JOBS… FUTURE… STRESS: Need I say anymore!? The thought of the future terrifies me! I don’t enjoy change and I like to know exactly what is going on … the future is something that I have very limited control over and I really don’t like it! Job seeking is fastly approaching and this became suddenly more real when “Plan A” got thrown out of the window after being rejected from my only really thought out plan (Teachfirst), so it’s back to the drawing board… time to explore a new avenue… time to stop being scared and to just go for it!
- Ironically, the last pressure to make the short list comes in the form of that wonderful thing called a dissertation. My deadline for my proposal is Friday (GET ON AND DO IT THEN! I hear you shouting) but this is just it, my dissertation partner bailed on me this week and is going to work a placement year, leaving me with the mammoth task of changing the entire plan and essentially going solo! Writing it therefore is proving to be a huge issue, and is driving me insane… I am just hoping that it will all be worth it in the end !
So there we have it, a few thoughts on the world and its pressures. I know it’s all part and parcel of life’s rich tapestry but sometimes I just wish life was calm enough to enjoy the simple things in life – I do try, I really do!
At this point, it only feels right to take the time to thank all of the people that continue to support me in everything that I do… in particular one very special person – who in fact is a blogger her self (why not check out her blog here) who too is under ridiculous amounts of pressure with her job (I can’t really complain in comparison), who genuinely means the absolute world to me, she is amazing! Without her, who knows where I’d be (in a corner rocking back and forth probably!) and I owe her more than I could ever describe!
On that note, I should probably return to this dissertation that pressure that only procrastination can resolve 😉